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Corporate Statements

Our Mission
    To derive the maximum benefit to the company with the minimum output of resources with no consideration of ethics or morality.

Our Vision

    We see a world of scams. Scam! Or be scammed! The world is full of suckers just waiting to have their money removed from their wallets and we are the ultimate facilitator resource. If FBN does not take the money, some other contractor will. We believe the technology fields offer some of the best quality suckers. The higher the technology the better the rewards.

Our Culture

    We pride ourselves on how little work we can do and what outrageous amount of money can be derived for that service or product. We don’t care about quality as we can make more money selling junk than selling quality products and services. We don’t care what people think about us as this is viewed as sour grapes - they just wish they too could be as shady as FBN. Basically, we prefer to be on top of every deal, if someone else is doing the screwing, or even getting a fair deal - well we just don’t do business in that manner.

Our Commitment

    At FBN, we do more than just screw the customer. We try to make the customer feel really bad about paying our bills. Our purpose is viewed to be the contractor from Hell. We can make a bigger mess than the next guy. Whether you need a PC, a file server, a communications cabinet or just a good shaking down, we have the worse possible solution guaranteed to cost more and deliver less. Our solutions never come in on time or under budget. You can count on FBN to screw it up big time.

Our Technology

    We know where computer, networking, and telecommunication technologies are heading and we go out of way to deliver solutions which will not be obsolete tomorrow - they are obsolete when we install them. Some may have been obsolete years ago, but we don’t care as our technology is the technology of yesterday.

Our People

    We know that our solutions are only as good as the people installing them so we assembled a team of the most incompetent brain-dead workers you will find anywhere. We treat our people with absolutely no respect and expect them to give this same treatment to you the customer. We provide almost no training as if our workers knew what they were doing they would find a job elsewhere for some real money plus they might actually implement a solution at a customer site that worked and we could never live that down. Our people will give you no respect because they know the FBN management will not give it to you. You can be assured that when our people are on your site that there will be a major disruption of some sort.

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© 2002  The Twelve Year Old Kid From Across The Street
December 31, 2002