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PUP / Pretty Useless Privacy

FBN Technical Services is proud to announce the release of their latest data security product, PUP/Pretty Useless Privacy. This product would be of special interest to those who wish to satisfy the current, and future, concerns of government and the Law Enforcement community. PUP is a revolutionary breakthrough product offering new paradigms and drawing rave reviews from experienced security experts on how a company of FBN's caliber can offer unbreakable encryption with the PUP secret proprietary algorithm in an exportable product.

Are "key recovery" and "key escrow" concerns? With PUP these concerns will be gone forever! The government is once again threatening to implement legislation which will mandate all data security products have an instant access door for Law Enforcement. This time they will cite the need to find terrorists.  It is a well-known fact that only terrorists and pornographers have a need to hide their communications from Law Enforcement. With PUP this will no longer be a concern. Get one-step ahead of the government and implement PUP now, the government, and pretty much the whole world, will have easy access to your PUP encrypted data. Use PUP and no one will accuse you of being a pornographer.

Want to forge your supervisor's digital signature and send forged Email under their name? No problem, with PUP this will be as easy as saying "I planted pornography on you and now you are going to jail". 

Got competition for that job promotion? Send a nasty chain-letter about the boss using your competitor's name and PUP, and you can start breaking out the champagne the minute you hit "Send".

Work at the White House? No need to explain, just use PUP and those late-night meetings in underground parking garages will be a thing of the past.

We know the government has only the best interest of their citizens in mind when they implement new laws. The concept of living in a glass house is hard to accept. With PUP you will feel no pain, just orgastic delight knowing you are riding the government's shaft. Implement PUP now and get a good citizenship award. 

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December 31, 2002